The Real

Assalamu Alaikum Waraghmatulaahi Wabarakatu

I greet you with the universal greeting of peace!

Social media is full of gloss. I sometimes wonder to what end. Perfectly edited pictures showing off one captured moment and not the full story.

The perfect life, the perfect family, the perfect spouse….really?!

Talk less, reflect more.

Whats the pay off?!

I got married really young… Young , dumb and broke….yes that about sums it up. We celebrated 19 years of marriage last October. I did it just like Nike…just do it with no clue or concept. Just a man I thought I loved. The delusion of youth hahaaa.

Here’s my gloss

19th Anniversary photo shoot courtesy of NT photography

What these pictures don’t show is:

  • The loss of loved ones we have had to weather together, parents, siblings and babies
  • The differences in opinion that at times leads to arguments and refrained strangulation
  • Those situations that comes about when we know were part of a team but we just still do our own thing
  • Your not always in sync, you don’t always agree or get along
  • Sometimes your tired is tired because as a spouse your on duty all the time
  • Parenting two you kids with  listening disabilities and dirty rooms
  • The make or break moments when your filled with anger not so much love and choose to stay because you don’t just throw in the towel and that means staying when it royally sucks
  • The days when you really just can’t


  • The quiet moments when your together and you don’t really talk , you just sit together because being there is enough
  • The I woke up like this moments… bad hair, bad breath, puffy eyes , potential drool stains cause that sleep was so good , you both look so crap and you both still smile because you still got to wake up together to tackle one more day
  • The times when your calm and you can say  from the heart don’t worry baby I’ve got you

Marriage is very hard work

As per the Quran (one of my favourite verses)

And among His signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them. He has put love and mercy between your hearts : verily in that are signs for those who reflect. Surah ar Rum ayah 21 

19 years of marriage has taught me:

  • You can’t be selfish it’s not just about you
  • Don’t be an injustice collector
  • Your not perfect don’t expect you spouse to be
  • Get over yourself
  • Forgive
  • Be quiet and listen
  • Love isn’t a feeling it’s an action
  • Crap happens deal with it
  • Laugh its ok
  • Give as much and more than you get

Shukran for reading , until next time.


2 thoughts on “The Real

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